Screw Familiarity

Familiarity — the state of knowing something very well.

And in human relationships, knowing someone very well leads to forming static, lazy impressions. Unchangeable. Undynamic. 

When humans, in fact, is the living proof of change and dynamism.

You have someone close to you. Perhaps a friend, a family member, or a significant other. Perhaps he's kind. Perhaps she's hardworking. A good listener. A gentleman. A woman with an excellent fashion sense. You know them so well that it doesn't take a lot of mental energy to describe them. You're so used to them that you think explaining why you're fond of them isn't even necessary. Why? He's a friend. She's important. They've always been there for me. 

You have someone whom you just met. Perhaps in a bar, at a social gathering, or perhaps they're a new colleague. A complete mystery. Their eyes seem meaningful, and you want to know why they look that way. You find their smile interesting, and their mannerisms novel. A tall person. An athlete, perhaps? No, a model. That person definitely has a story to tell. I want to know them more.

Why is it that we tend to want to learn about someone who is unfamiliar more than to rediscover someone who's been there with us for a long time? What makes an unfamiliar place more appealing than your neighborhood? Why is the food on your table repetitive, but a food eaten in another place delicious?

Why are everyone's family and partner seem to be better than yours?

Because you don't know them very well.

Probably the most unfortunate victims of "familia"rity are the ones that are enclosed in quotation marks.

Your siblings' friends admire them for various reasons, but you admire them just because they're your brothers and sisters. For you, your parents are the BEST in the world, but you can't state a reason other than the fact that they're the ones who nurtured you.

While you can enumerate reasons why your crush is "the one."

I wonder who the true victim of familiarity is: the ones being underappreciated, or the one blinded?

Whatever the answer is, familiarity doesn't just breed contempt; it breeds regret. Like the oxygen around us, we would only truly notice our close ones when we feel like we're going to lose them. This is a cliche that speaks the truth: ipaparamdam mo lang sa kanila na importante sila sa 'yo kapag wala na sila. Kapag hindi na nila nakikita ang mga luha mo. When they can't hear your desperate shouts of affection anymore. 

Or worse, when they don't care anymore.

To the ones who are victims of my familiarity with them: I'm sorry I can't see who you truly are.

To familiarity: You shouldn't even be a thing. Please go away. I want to eliminate these inaccurate, thoughtless preconceived notions that I have for the ones who are important to me. They don't deserve to have these predetermined images in my mind.

I want to see their true beauty.